I was on a group coaching call with some of my Holistic Life Coaching students last week and our check-in revealed a pattern around Being and Doing, with each woman feeling the steep challenge of, “Having so much I want to get done and having that satisfying feeling of getting things done AND wanting to be in the present moment, wanting to just BE sometimes.”
They spoke of the challenge to just bite off small chunks of big projects and the tendency to either over do or just chuck it all and get nothing accomplished.
A few were fighting colds and recognized that as their body trying to get them to slow down.
And they all agreed that self care and permission to “just enjoy this beautiful day” was often the last thing on their To Do list.
Can you relate?
We all know that we can’t be in the present moment LATER, that being here now has to come first… but that it’s challenging when our To Do list is never ending.
I asked each of the students to share one idea that really works to keep them in the flow, trusting the Universe, AND taking care of business, every day.
How do they balance Being and Doing? Their answers — a mix of playful and practical — might just contain the spark you need for your own balancing act.
Here are their 9 Ways Real Women Balance Being And Doing.
1. Make a list and prioritize.
What do I HAVE to do? Keep that most present. The rest I figure out how and when and even IF it needs to get done. Don’t prioritize your schedule, schedule your priorities. Actually SCHEDULING is important: the calendar has to be my friend or else I feel like I have to do it all right now, today. When I combine that with “Manage Your Energy Not Your Time”, then I’ve got a balanced day where the important things get done, but I’m not fried at the end of it.
2. Watch for the internal red flag: SHOULD
When I hear myself say “should”, I know that’s usually not my self care/balance voice. I reframe the should to “need, want, or could”, being very mindful of my internal self talk. I watch out for how my drivenness shows up. I want to act from an inspired place vs. a driven place inside myself.
3. Use your body and symptoms of dis-ease as a barometer.
I add small changes and acts of self care to my daily routine to make the environment less stressful. I play relaxing music at work, take frequent short breaks to recenter and do some reading that’s very centering. All these things make me more productive while answering my body’s need for a break.
4. Watch out for planning a day that’s really a week.
When I pile too much on one day’s list it always leaves me feeling defeated. Instead, I plan my schedule as if it was for a friend, someone I like. Then I get the most onerous task done first and I allow for time between tasks to relax, or to just have enough time to get things done. Building in extra time buffers gives me a mental release.
5. Batch tasks.
I set aside an entire day for one thing, such as coursework or shopping, or cleaning. This “batching” reduces multitasking, which has been shown to be very detrimental to mental and physical health. Sometimes I can’t help needing to change course throughout the day, but I control it in whatever ways I can.
6. Treat yourself!
I regularly buy myself flowers. Not only do I enjoy them immensely, but it always reminds me that I do love and care for myself, and that encourages me to take good care of myself in other ways, too.
7. Step away from technology.
From time to time I take short breaks from my phone, computer, and social media. When I do go back to it, I feel refreshed, centered in my own priorities, and a little more in control.
8. Celebrate accomplishments!
I actually check things off my To Do list, so that I can stay mindful of what IS getting done. And I don’t add to the list throughout the day or by the end of the day I’ve got as many things or more unchecked as I do checked. I create little wins, remind myself it’s not going to be forever and that I’ve survived ’til now! I replace catastrophizing with positive self talk.
9. Consciously rewire yourself to just BE.
Time management and prioritizing are very important, but I also have to address the unrelenting feeling that I should be productive every minute. We’re wired that we’re only productive when engaged in a task. I need to rewire myself so that it’s OK to sit with myself and take that moment to breathe.
Which of these 9 Ways Real Women Balance Being And Doing speaks to you? I’d love to hear from you and pass along your comments to the students. Which ideas will you try or what would you add? Leave your comments below.
Please share this post with anyone you think might benefit. Let’s support each other in shifting more into Being!
All My Best,
Annie
Taking care of me first helps me be a better care giver. Letting go of the guilt of putting myself first was a process, and not easy. Once I was able to see/feel the better me, the guilt subsided quite a bit.
Hope, experiencing yourself feel better is such a great motivator to keep taking good care of yourself and overcome the negative self talk of guilt. And then you even have more to give. Beautiful!