How many times have you thought, “I can’t do THAT” and then, just like that, you didn’t try something you wanted to do?
Maybe change your hair style, start a business, or write a letter to the editor.
“I can’t” comes in a lot of different guises and uses it’s sneaky ways to slow us down, confuse us, and stop us from living a full and authentic life.
Find out how to leave behind “I can’t”, free your thinking, and create endless possibilities in your life.
Download the worksheet: Free Your Thinking, HERE.
1. Why “I Can’t” Deserves Respect
So, I’ll bet you thought I was just going to tell you to reject your “I can’t” and do the opposite, didn’t you?
Well, I’m not going to, because your “I can’t” deserves to be heard. In fact, it might just have something valuable to teach you.
The negative voice in your head is there to protect you, to keep you safe and to make sure you get your needs met. All good things. The problem is that voice things that the only way for that to happen is if nothing ever changes.
Finding out the essential things your “I can’t” is try to protect, means you’ll understand your basic needs more clearly and then you’ll get to decide HOW you want to meet them — the old way, or the new way.
So, don’t waste time rejecting your “I can’t”, spend some time getting to know what’s underneath it and then decide how to meet your needs now and going forward. You’ll free up a ton of energy you’re now wasting on rejecting both the desire to do something new and the negative response to it.
Get your free download: Free Your Thinking Worksheet
2. It’s Not All Or Nothing
The most common form of “I can’t” is black and white thinking, or either/or thinking.
Recently my client Sarah wanted to talk about altering her work schedule. She’s a massage therapist with a lovely private practice. Her “I can’t” was around what would happen with her clients and her practice if she cut back one whole day per week to spend more time with her young daughter.
It seemed impossible to Sarah that she could just cancel one whole day per week of regular clients — and that was the only option she could see.
All or nothing.
I suggested rearranging the clients she could to other days and maybe starting with cutting back one day every other week. Then she can ease into rescheduling people over time and work her way into the new schedule over a few weeks, or even months.
Once Sarah let go of thinking in black or white — the schedule having to be all one way or all another — she suddenly had options!
3. “Do It Badly!”
I recently visited with my 8 month old great nephew, who’s super eager to walk while holding onto grown up fingers. He weaves and wobbles, and does a lot of plopping down on his butt.
And we know it’s natural, right? No one’s shaking their heads in dismay. We know he’s learning and we expect him to fall down while he masters the new skill. (In fact we all thought it was just adorable!) And he is undaunted, just learning from every experience.
Somewhere along the line we stopped being OK with being a beginner or trying something and not being very good at it at first.
And that’s REALLY limiting.
My Holistic Life Coaching students are starting their practice coaching sessions now and I encourage them to “Do it badly!”. To try, learn, and try again. And to be curiosity at every step.
Reclaiming your right to weave and wobble, to do it badly, and remember that what you’re learning isn’t your whole identity, is true freedom.
I hope you will:
- Find out what’s underneath your “I can’t” and learn about your needs
- Embrace “both/and” thinking
- Let yourself be a beginner and make mistakes
When you free your thinking in these ways, you not only reduce your internal stress, but you create endless possibilities.
All My Best,
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